


Trash

by pencilpusher



Series: Snapshots [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Because embarrassed Tsukki is the best Tsukki, Childhood Friends, Embarrassment, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 10:37:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8398315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pencilpusher/pseuds/pencilpusher
Summary: Kei picks up trash because Yamaguchi hates to look at it. And he tries to keep it a secret, but he fails.





	1. Chapter 1

Kei reached forward and grabbed a hard hat off the shelf, one of the utterly stupid ones that had a light built into it. He held the hat in front of himself, stared down at it, and tried to come to terms with the fact that he was actually going to buy it.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. Everything about this situation was embarrassing. He was at the store by his house buying garbage bags, protective gloves, and _this_ when he should be in bed sleeping. But Kei couldn’t sleep, and it was all Yamaguchi’s fault.

Thinking about Yamaguchi used to keep Kei up late all the time, but that was back before they were dating. Before Yamaguchi had stopped on the way home from school one day when they were first years and said, “Tsukki, I recently realized...”

Kei had stopped a few paces ahead of Yamaguchi and looked over his shoulder at him. He remembered being surprised at the look on Yamaguchi’s face, all bold determination hiding nervousness—the face Yamaguchi wore when he was serving in a volleyball match.

“I like you,” Yamaguchi had said, chin up, hands clenched to fists at his sides, looking as though he was ready to get a volleyball spiked right into his face.

“Oh,” Kei said. And, in trying to mask his surprise, he was pretty sure he had frowned. _Eloquent_ , he told himself as he watched Yamaguchi’s face fall. It had been odd to feel such relief, because Yamaguchi _liked him too_ , and to see such disappointment on his friends face at the same time. It was as though, at that moment, they had been feeling two exact opposite emotions.

“Good,” Kei said. He had wanted to turn back around and continue walking, to play it cool, but he couldn’t make himself miss the expression on Yamaguchi’s face. It went from disappointment to confusion to surprise to a small smile that Kei had always thought of as _his_ smile. It was the smile Yamaguchi gave him when he was pleased and surprised. It had become one of Kei’s favorite things to look at.

Kei had held Yamaguchi’s eyes for a few moments, taking in that smile, and only then had he turned around and started walking. After a few moments, he heard Yamaguchi catching up to him. He’d looked at the other boy out of the corner of his eye as he fell in step beside him. Yamaguchi was grinning at the ground, looking happy. That was good. He wanted Yamaguchi to be happy. Because he had just made Kei happy. Kei had always thought that Yamaguchi would be the one thing he wanted that he would never get to have.

After a few blocks of silence Yamaguchi had spoken again. “Date me, Tsukki,” he said.

“Okay,” Kei said, pausing as if he had to think about, as if he hadn’t wanted to date Yamaguchi for years.

“Okay?” Yamaguchi said, sounding a bit amused. “And just like that, we’re dating?”

Kei had nodded, and that was that. The rest of their relationship—leading up to the moment where Kei was now standing in a store staring at a hard hat—had progressed similarly. With Yamaguchi leaning in for their first kiss, Yamaguchi planning their first date, Yamaguchi saying _I love you,_ Yamaguchi taking the lead the first time they had sex.

It wasn’t as though Kei was not an active participant in their relationship, he was. Kei was just content to let Yamaguchi take the lead with all of the embarrassing firsts couples had to go through.

And they had been dating for about a year now, so Kei supposed it was his turn to do something embarrassing for once—not that he would ever be telling anyone about this. He brought his items to the cashier and tried not to grimace as he rung them up.

“What do you need this stuff for?” the man asked as Kei pulled out his money.

Kei frowned at him, annoyed at being asked, but found himself replying honestly anyway.

“I’m going to pick up trash,” Kei said. He accepted his change and pocketed it. “Because I couldn’t sleep,” he added.

The cashier was now giving Kei an odd look, and Kei decided that was also all Yamaguchi’s fault.

Because on the way home from Karasuno, there was a long stretch of hill sloping down along the side of the road, and Kei had noticed that Yamaguchi’s mood soured whenever they walked past it. If Yamaguchi was smiling, he usually stopped. If he was talking, he got quiet.

Kei couldn’t figure out why until he’d noticed Yamaguchi peering down the hill one night as they walked past it, obviously disappointed. Kei had paid extra attention to the hill the next morning and saw that there was trash thrown down onto the grass below.

That made sense, because Yamaguchi hated litter. Whenever Kei threw something at a garbage can and missed, Yamaguchi always picked it up before Kei got the chance.

And when Kei knew what was ruining Yamaguchi’s walk to and from school everyday, how could he ignore it? He couldn’t help but glance at Yamaguchi everyday as they walked past it, and he hated the look on his boyfriend’s face when he saw that the trash was still there.

Yamaguchi’s daily disappointment confused him, as it was like the other boy was constantly hoping that someone would pick it up. Kei went to bed shaking his head. Why couldn’t he just accept that it was there? Why did it have to be a big deal? But maybe that was unfair, because it was Kei that was sitting in class dreading the walk past the hill, it was Kei going to bed thinking about it. Yamaguchi hadn’t even said anything.

As more trash joined what was already there, Kei found himself thinking about it more often. He kept himself up thinking about how much he hated that it had to ruin part of Yamaguchi’s day and, by extension, Kei’s day. Kei found himself looking forward to the nights when Yamaguchi practiced his jump float serve with Shimada-san, because then Kei could walk home by himself. And that didn’t sit right with him at all, because he also dreaded the nights without Yamaguchi walking at his side.

Eventually, Kei got fed up. If the trash was going to be keeping him up at night, Kei might as well do something about it.

So here he was, in the middle of the night, embarrassing himself.

The walk to the hill went quickly, and Kei put on his new gloves and his stupid hat. He turned on the light with a roll of his eyes and shook open a garbage bag. Then he looked out over the hillside. Time to get to work.

***

Kei hadn’t expected Yamaguchi to notice right away the next morning, but the other boy did a double take as soon as they passed the hill.

“What’s up?” Kei asked, fighting a yawn. He felt like he was going to give himself away—like if Yamaguchi noticed Kei was tired, he’d connect the dots.

“Oh...nothing,” Yamaguchi said, but his face had been lit up the rest of the way to school. Kei swore Yamaguchi had been in a better mood all day, which almost made how tired he was worth it. He had filled five garbage bags last night, and then he had walked the entire hill again to make sure that it was spotless.

Yamaguchi immediately started grinning as soon as the hill came into sight on the way home from volleyball that night, and Kei had found himself fighting a smile. He liked that little things could make Yamaguchi so happy, because that was all Kei ever really gave Yamaguchi. Little things, small gestures, short words.

He supposed this gesture was a little grander than anything he had done before, but it wasn’t something Yamaguchi would ever know about. Not if Kei could help it.

When they got to Yamaguchi’s house, they settled in to do homework, like usual, but Kei couldn’t help but feel like it was a waste of time. A huge weight was gone from his shoulders, Yamaguchi’s smile wasn’t being chased away anymore, and Kei felt like they should be celebrating... or at least doing something that wasn’t homework.

Kei stopped trying to do his math and looked at Yamaguchi. He was giving one of his notebooks all his concentration. Kei watched Yamaguchi mouth a few words, which he only did when he was really trying to learn something.

_We’re not doing any more homework tonight. Not until I go home_ , Kei decided as he studied his boyfriend’s profile. He surprised himself by feeling the sudden need to _touch_ , which he didn’t feel often. He usually ignored it and allowed Yamaguchi to initiate any and all touching, but Yamaguchi didn’t fool around. He either just gave Kei a kiss goodnight or they had sex. All or nothing.

Kei liked that, he liked that they didn’t need to be all over each other every day to feel close to each other. He felt like their relationship was more about the mental—the understanding and the comfort and the simplicity—than about the physical. But right now, he didn’t want to wait a few hours or a few days for Yamaguchi to initiate something.

So Kei should.

Do something.

Now.

But he didn’t really know how to go about it.

They were both sitting on Yamaguchi’s bed with their backs against the wall, and it took awhile to convince himself, but Kei was pretty sure he could initiate something without feeling too awkward about it.

“When are your parents coming home?” Kei asked Yamaguchi. His parents hadn’t been in when they had gotten back.

“I don’t know.”

“Ask,” Kei said.

Yamaguchi raised his eyebrows in question, but he grabbed his phone and dialed a number after a moment of silence.

“Hey, Mom,” Yamaguchi said. “I was just wondering when dinner was going to be?”

Yamaguchi nodded, not taking his eyes off Kei. “Oh, you left something in the fridge? Thanks...”

“When will you be home?” Yamaguchi glanced at the clock on his bedside table. “Okay. Have a good time.”

Yamaguchi hung up and set his phone aside. “They’ll be home in two hours.”

Relieved, Kei took off his glasses and shut his math book, then set them both on the nightstand.

“Tsukki, what-”

Kei slipped a hand into Yamaguchi’s hair and pulled him into a kiss, trying to convey what he wanted without words.

Yamaguchi kissed him back for a few seconds before he pulled back and said, “Oh.”

Then, finally getting with the program, Yamaguchi threw whatever notebook he was reading on the floor and climbed into Kei’s lap.

***

“Tsukki, wake up,” Yamaguchi was saying, and Kei felt a hand run up and down his arm.

“Hmm?” He turned his face into the pillow.

He heard a small laugh and then Yamaguchi said, “You have to wake up and get dressed. My parents should be here in half an hour.”

Kei opened his eyes to Yamaguchi’s smile, but he frowned. He couldn’t remember falling asleep.

“I was going to let you sleep longer,” Yamaguchi said. “But I thought you’d like it better if we didn’t take any chances.”

Chances? Kei rubbed a hand over his face and then, when he was finally more aware, he realized that he had fallen asleep on Yamaguchi’s bed completely naked.

He sat up quickly and had to stop himself from bolting out of the bed. He looked down at the blanket pooled in his lap and was sure it hadn’t been there when he’d fallen asleep.

He just remembered cleaning himself off and laying back down next to Yamaguchi to catch his breath, and his late night combined with the slowness of post-orgasm must have put him to sleep almost instantly.

He glanced at Yamaguchi, who was looking at him nervously. Kei forced himself to relax. He hated making Yamaguchi nervous. He did glare a little bit a his boyfriend though, because Yamaguchi seemed to have dressed himself completely before waking Kei up.

Kei wondered if it would be more embarrassing to just get up and get dressed with Yamaguchi watching him or it would be more embarrassing if he asked Yamaguchi not to watch. Kei didn’t really want to do either.

Yamaguchi grinned a little back him, like he knew exactly what Kei was thinking. He probably did, because his grin was growing slowly wider as the moment drug on and Kei didn’t get up.

And then Yamaguchi said, “So shy, Tsukki.”

Kei glared harder. But he couldn’t help but want to smile, sometimes, when Yamaguchi was a little evil to him on purpose. Teasing each other was good for both of them, he thought, because Kei sure as hell wasn’t going to let anyone else do it.

“Shy,” Kei repeated blandly, trying to sound disbelieving. He made to get up, but Yamaguchi put a hand on his arm to stop him.

“No,” Yamaguchi said. “No. I didn’t mean to bait you. I was teasing. You- You don’t have to...” He trailed off and bit his lip, looking guilty.

Then Yamaguchi got out of bed and said, “I’m going to get myself a glass of water. Do you want one?”

Kei nodded, and Yamaguchi left. Grateful, Kei got out of bed to grab his clothes without an audience.

Kei was dressed and lying back down when Yamaguchi got back. He sat up and accepted the glass of water without a word, drinking it slowly as Yamaguchi sat down next to him.

He had a vague feeling that Yamaguchi wanted to say something to him, so he waited. Eventually, Kei set his glass on the nightstand and laid back down. Yamaguchi reached over Kei to set his glass down too, and Kei put a hand on his hip to steady him. Yamaguchi smiled at him and laid down next to him, then seemed to change his mind and turned on his side so that one of his legs was over Kei’s and his head was resting on Kei’s shoulder.

Yamaguchi sighed and rested a hand over Kei’s heart, which he did sometimes, just randomly. Kei didn’t mind. Yamaguchi sometimes put a hand over his own heart too, after a hard workout, or if he was bored and zoning out. Kei was pretty sure Yamaguchi just liked to feel it beat under his fingers.

“Thank you, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said a few moments later.

“You don’t need to thank me for sleeping with you,” Kei reminded him. It was something Yamaguchi had done the first few times they had sex, and Kei had had to tell him to stop.

“I know,” Yamaguchi said. “But I don’t know... Or why you... This just has been a really, really good day. And you’re part of that, so thank you.”

Kei didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. He just put a hand over Yamaguchi’s and threaded their fingers together before closing his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Kei had figured he would let the trash build up at the bottom of the hill again, but then realized he should probably pick it up regularly so that it wasn’t as much work. Not picking it up had become out of the question, because a clean hill improved Yamaguchi’s mood enough that Kei knew he would feel guilty if he let the hill become covered with trash again.

So the second time he picked up the trash was a weekend morning about three weeks later, right after Yamaguchi had left to go grocery shopping with his parents. It was a hot day and he was sweating by the time he got to the bottom of the hill, relieved to be almost done.

Then an old woman had appeared out of the house the property obviously belonged to. She brandished a cane in the air and yelled, “Thank you for your hard work!” 

Kei waved in her direction and kept going, trying to not look at her as he heard her slowly coming closer. Eventually he could see her shoes on the ground next to his own and did his best to ignore her. If it became obvious that he didn’t want to talk to her, hopefully she’d go away.

But then he felt a sharp _whack_ against the back of his leg.

Kei turned, incredulous. It hadn’t hurt, but the old woman had just hit him with her cane.

“Don’t ignore your elders,” she said. Then she’d held up a glass in her hand, which tinkled slightly with the sound of ice, and asked, “Do you want some water?”

“No, tha-” _Whack._ Kei was cut short as her cane hit him again.

“Drink,” she demanded, holding the glass closer to him. “It’s hot out.”

Kei stared at her. He wanted to say _What the fuck?_ but he was pretty sure that she would just whack him again for his language. She was short, probably about Yachi’s height, and had peppered gray hair that only reached her ears. She was also slightly bug-eyed, though Kei supposed that may just be the prescription for her glasses.

Kei wouldn’t have reached for the glass if ice water hadn’t sounded so good, because no one should get their way by hitting other people with a cane.

He sipped the ice water under the old woman’s careful gaze and she seemed to mellow slightly before his eyes.

“I’m Sata Ena,” she said.

“Hello, Sata-san,” Kei said, bowing slightly, and then he took another drink of water.

She frowned as Kei let silence stretch on in the space where he knew he was supposed to introduce himself. Eventually, Sata-san was forced to ask, though she obviously didn't like doing so, “And you are?”

“Tsukishima,” he said, and then he added his first name when he saw her hand flex around the handle of her cane. “Kei... Tsukishima Kei.”

“Well, Kei-kun,” Sata-san said, “I want to thank you for cleaning my hill. I assume it was you who cleaned it before?”

He frowned at the use of his given name, but nodded.

“My knee gave out recently,” she said, and she gave her own right leg a small whack with her cane. “Or I would still be picking up the trash myself.”

Kei nodded again.

She seemed to be sizing him up, and he returned her gaze levelly as he finished the rest of his water. Kei knew she was waiting for him to tell her why he was here picking up other people’s trash, but he stayed silent.

“You’re a piece of work, aren’t you?” Sata-san asked him when he handed her back the empty glass, but something was sparkling behind her eyes.

“Yes,” Kei said. If Yamaguchi were here, that would make him laugh. Kei fought back a smile as he bent down to pick up the last few pieces of trash. He felt Sata-san watching him as he tied off the garbage bag and put his gloves in his back pocket, but he didn’t look her way.

“Will you be back again?” she asked as Kei made to leave.

He nodded and began to walk back up the hill. Sata-san let him go. And, although Kei didn’t look back, he could feel her watching him leave until he was out of sight.

***

Kei hoped his short interaction with Sata-san was enough to satisfy her, and that whatever gratitude she was feeling had been expressed enough. But he didn’t really expect her not to seek him out if she saw him again.

So the next time he went to pick up the trash, he did so in the middle of the night like he had before. And he did it on a Saturday night this time because he didn’t want to go through a school day half-asleep again.

He went to Yamaguchi’s house the next day trying not to show how exhausted he was, and promptly fell asleep on his boyfriend’s couch ten minutes into a movie.

Yamaguchi shook him awake once the movie was over and handed him a cup of hot tea.

“Thank you,” Kei said. He took a sip of the tea and allowed the slight burn of the hot water to wake him up a little more.

Yamaguchi was watching him, looking worried. Kei knew he didn’t fall asleep during the day often, but that was no reason for Yamaguchi to be looking at him like he was on a hospital bed instead of on a couch.

“I’m fine,” Kei said. Yamaguchi didn’t look convinced, so Kei added, “I just didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Oh,” Yamaguchi said, looking relieved. Then Yamaguchi crossed his legs and said, “Next time you can’t fall asleep, you should call me.”

Kei frowned. Yamaguchi called Kei when he couldn’t fall asleep, but that was usually because he was thinking about something he needed to talk through. It was something Yamaguchi had done ever since they both had cell phones in middle school.

“I know you don’t need to like I do,” Yamaguchi said, awkwardly waving his hands a little. “But I don’t like thinking of you lying awake all by yourself. So call me next time, okay? Or I’ll worry.”

He looked worried, like he thought Kei might say no. Yamaguchi leaned forward slightly, and Kei could smell his shampoo—crisp and familiar. 

Kei sighed and nodded, because he didn’t want to make Yamaguchi worry on purpose. But as he looked away, he thought, _There goes picking up trash in the middle of the night._

***

The next time he went to go pick up the trash was on one of the nights that Yamaguchi went to go practice his jump float serve with Shimada-san. He had put a trash bag and the gloves into his bag that morning, so he simply stopped at the hill on his way home from volleyball practice.

Once he got to the hill, however, he realized that he’d somehow forgotten it would be dark out and that he’d need his stupid hat. But he didn’t want to go home to get it, so he took out his phone and used the flashlight app. Picking up the trash went more slowly without two hands, but Kei managed.

When he was about halfway done, he heard the sound of Sata-san’s door opening and closing. He sighed and turned to see her walking towards him.

“Hello, Kei-kun. I just made some sweet bread,” she told him once she was closer. “You should come inside and have some when you’ve finished.”

Kei nodded, thinking he could just agree now and then sneak off once he was done.

But Sata-san seemed to see through him, because after watching him work awhile, she said, “Hand me your phone. I’ll hold the light for you.”

“I got it,” Kei said. “You can-”

_Whack._

Kei gritted his teeth. He wished the hits with her cane hurt, because then he would feel no qualms about wrenching the damned thing from her grasp and throwing it as far away as he could. But the whacks were more annoying than painful. It was as if she had perfected the art of it. Kei briefly imagined her sitting in her house, practicing on her own legs until she could hit them _just right_. Hard enough to be shocking, but not hard enough to be painful.

“Your phone,” Sata-san said again, holding out one of her hands. Kei reluctantly handed it to her. He glared once she had turned the light towards him, but she didn’t seemed to mind at all.

Kei took a deep breath and got back to work, which went a lot faster now that he had two hands. Sata-san followed him slowly around, diligently shining light onto the grass in front of them, and Kei had to admit she was more of a help than a hinderance.

He tied off the garbage bag once they were finished, and held out his hand for his phone.

“Oh, no,” Sata-san said, starting towards her house. “You can have this back once you’ve suffered through my hospitality.”

Kei watched her walk away and reach her house. She didn’t look back until she got to the door, which she held open for him with the expression of someone who was ready to wait a long time.

He sighed in resignation and approached her. He set the garbage bag against the side of her house and took off his gloves.

“As long as you know it’s suffering,” he told her as he went through the door. He toed off his shoes as she chuckled and then he said, out of habit and in a monotone voice, “Thank you for having me.”

Sata-san led him to the kitchen and set his phone down on the table. Kei briefly considered grabbing his phone and running out of the house, but then he realized that that would be undignified—just another way of losing. At least this way, he got free bread.

“If your bread isn’t good, I’m leaving,” Kei said as he sat down at the table.

Sata-san laughed and said, “I hope you’re usually more polite than this.”

“I am,” Kei said.

Sata-san took out a knife and slowly cut Kei a slice of bread. “You’ll like it, Kei-kun. I promise.”

She was right. The bread was good. Really good. And when she pushed a jar of strawberry jam towards him and told him it was homemade, he couldn’t refuse. He watched her suspiciously as he put the jam on his bread, wondering how she somehow knew to offer him something made out of strawberries—his favorite.

“Why bread?” Kei asked, pushing the jam back across the table into her outstretched hand.

She put the jam back into her fridge before she responded to him. “Why not bread, Kei-kun?”

Kei didn’t have an answer to that, so he stayed silent.

“Why do you pick up the trash on my hill?” Sata-san asked as she sat down across from him.

“I don’t do it for you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Kei said. She smiled at him, and he could tell that she was enjoying his hostility. She continued smiling at him like he was some cute fluffy animal as she waited for him to continue.

“I have a friend who hates to look at it,” Kei said, trying to make his tone indicate that the topic was closed. He thought of Yamaguchi then, and wondered if he was already on his way home.

“I have to leave once I finish this,” Kei said, gesturing to his bread. The last thing he needed was for Yamaguchi to catch him with a full garbage bag.

Sata-san nodded in acknowledgement and tilted her head as she watched Kei finish his bread.

Then, when he was finished, she said, “What a lucky friend you have, Kei-kun.”

He didn’t have a response, so instead he asked, “Can’t you call me Tsukishima?”

Only his family called him Kei. Not even Yamaguchi called him Kei, though Kei supposed that was because Yamaguchi was too fond of the nickname ‘Tsukki’ to abandon it.  

“No,” Sata-san said as she picked up his empty plate. “I’ll call you what I want to call you.”

Kei frowned at her as he stood up to leave, because he suddenly couldn’t shake the feeling that they were very much alike.

***

Kei should have known that Yamaguchi would eventually find out about him picking up the the trash. He should have known and never done it in the first place. If he hadn’t, he’d also have the added bonus of not owning his stupid hat.

He should have at least realized that once Sata-san knew what he was doing, it wasn’t a secret anymore. But he was ashamed to say that he was completely unprepared when the whole thing came to light.

It was a Sunday afternoon and it was raining, but Yamaguchi had cast Kei enough hopeful looks that he’d eventually agreed to grab an umbrella and walk with Yamaguchi to their favorite bakery. They’d asked Yamaguchi’s parents if they’d wanted anything—they didn’t—and then left.

Kei enjoyed walking with Yamaguchi under an umbrella, because they could walk close together with both of their hands on the handle and no one looked at them twice. He focused on the feeling of Yamaguchi’s hand under his, on the sound of the rain falling onto the street. The air smelled wet and clean. It was nice.

Yamaguchi was talking animatedly about the movie they’d watched last night, and Kei let it lull him. He liked the sound of Yamaguchi’s voice, and he wished the other boy would talk at length like this more often. Kei didn’t even realize that they’d gotten to the bakery until Yamaguchi was reaching forward to open the door.

They went inside the bakery and Yamaguchi closed the umbrella, lifting one of his knees up so that the excess water dripped onto his pants instead of onto the bakery floor before putting the umbrella into a plastic bag he’d brought with him. Kei shook his head at him as they got in line, but Yamaguchi just shrugged and smiled. Kei knew Yamaguchi didn’t care when Kei thought he was being too polite—he often insisted that there was no such thing.

It took Kei almost half a minute to realize that Sata-san was ahead of them in line, and he froze when he noticed her familiar grey hair and cane.

Yamaguchi noticed him tense and put a hand to his arm, looking concerned.

“Tsukki? Are you okay?” Yamaguchi asked, and Sata-san turned around.

Kei wanted to grab her head and make her face forward again. He wanted to drag Yamaguchi out of the bakery and leave. But he couldn’t move. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Sata-san might see them around in the neighborhood, and now that Yamaguchi and Sata-san were standing five feet from each other, he felt like an idiot.

There was no way she wouldn’t mention the trash on the hill. It was the only reason she knew him.

She saw Kei and blinked at him in shock. And it made Kei feel like less of an idiot to see that she was surprised too. Her eyes flickered briefly to Yamaguchi before she said, “Hello, Kei-kun.”

Kei forced himself to give her a small bow and she turned back around. Yamaguchi stared at the back of her head for a few moments, and then mouthed _Kei-kun?_

Kei tried to look casual, not meeting Yamaguchi’s gaze when he turned to Kei in confusion. He shook his head, and was glad when Yamaguchi remained silent. Maybe if they didn’t say anything, Sata-san wouldn’t talk to them.

Sata-san ordered a hot chocolate and sat down with it in the corner of the bakery. And only when she walked away from them did Yamaguchi ask, “Who was that?”

Kei shrugged. “Just someone I met recently.”

He watched Sata-san with relief. She was looking out the bakery windows, and didn’t seem interested in them at all.

Yamaguchi studied his face, then said, “She called you Kei-kun.” He sounded bemused.

“Unfortunately,” Kei said and Yamaguchi laughed.

Kei ordered two pieces of strawberry shortcake, and he could hear Yamaguchi say “Kei-kun?” under his breath as Kei paid. He led Yamaguchi to the side of the bakery opposite Sata-san. Yamaguchi looked confused, because they usually sat by the windows, but he followed.

They hadn’t been seated ten seconds before Kei saw Sata-san get up and make her way towards them. Kei felt his stomach drop. He glared at her and shook his head, but she just smiled at him. Yamaguchi looked between them curiously.

She gestured an empty chair at their table and asked, “Can I sit?”

Yamaguchi said, “Of course,” and at the same time Kei said, “No.”

Sata-san smiled at Yamaguchi and sat down. There was a long silence.

Sata-san sipped her hot chocolate, so Kei started eating his cake. It didn’t taste as good as it usually did. He felt resigned, like his carefully kept secret was already slipping out of his hands.

Yamaguchi fidgeted a little before he picked up his fork and slowly started eating too, and his confusion would have made Kei laugh if Kei wasn’t trying to think of some way to tell Sata-san not to mention the trash without Yamaguchi realizing what he was talking about.

“So,” Sata-san said. Kei and Yamaguchi both looked at her. “Are you going to introduce me?”

“No,” Kei said.

Yamaguchi kicked him under the table. Kei looked at him briefly and then said, “Fine. Sata-san, this is Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

Sata-san watched their interaction with amusement, which made Kei feel like she was winning, somehow. Yamaguchi was his weakness, and he knew she could already tell.

“Hello, Yamaguchi-kun,” Sata-san said. Kei gritted his teeth. She could have at least called Yamaguchi ‘Tadashi-kun’ to make Yamaguchi realize that she wasn’t as close to Kei as ‘Kei-kun’ made her seem to be. She smiled at him like she knew what he was thinking.

“Hello,” Yamaguchi said, bowing in his chair. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Kei stabbed his fork too forcefully into his cake and took a bite. Yamaguchi looked at him nervously.

Then Sata-san turned to Kei and said, “You told me that you pick up the trash because you have a friend who hates to look at it. Is this the friend?”

Kei winced, because he hadn’t expected to her come out with it that soon. Sata-san just grinned back at him like she knew she was revealing a secret. Kei stopped wincing and frowned at her.

Yamaguchi looked back and forth between them before tentatively asking, “What trash?”

“Kei-kun cleans up the trash on my hill,” Sata-san said.

Yamaguchi’s gaze immediately switched to Kei, who wished he could just get up and leave, but he knew Yamaguchi wouldn’t follow him. Yamaguchi had the umbrella. And Kei didn’t want to participate in the kind of melodrama that involved fleeing an uncomfortable situation and walking home alone in the rain.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked, looking for confirmation. Kei looked back at him and said nothing, tried to show no emotion.

“I asked Kei-kun why he was cleaning my hill, and he said he was doing it for a friend who hated to look at the trash,” Sata-san said again, this time to Yamaguchi. She seemed to have realized that he was more likely to answer her questions. “Are you the friend?”

Yamaguchi nodded slowly, and then his mouth fell open. Before either of them could say something to make Kei even more uncomfortable, he said, “Yamaguchi isn’t just my friend. He’s my boyfriend.”

Yamaguchi turned to gape at him, his fork hovering halfway to his mouth.

Sata-san blinked and said, “Really now?”

“Really,” Kei said. “We’ve had sex and everything.”

Yamaguchi squeaked and dropped his fork, then banged his head on the table in a desperate attempt to catch it before it hit the floor.

Kei and Sata-san both ignored him. They glared at each other from across the table. Kei felt like he finally had the upper hand as Sata-san looked away first to study Yamaguchi.

“He does have a nice face,” Sata-san said. “I’d probably be in love with him too, if I were your age.”

Yamaguchi sat back up, blushing, and Kei handed Yamaguchi his own fork. Yamaguchi seemed to take it only out of reflex.

“How do you know whether I’m in love with him or not?” Kei asked.

Sata-san looked at him over the rim of her glasses like he was stupid. Kei wished she was put off by their relationship. If she was homophobic then he’d have a good reason to hate her, and Yamaguchi would definitely get up and follow him out of the bakery if he left.

Kei sighed and got up to get another fork, and when he came back Yamaguchi and Sata-san were both laughing. Kei didn’t want to know what they had said to each other while he was gone. Because it was probably about him, wasn’t it?

He sat down and they both smiled at him—like they were all friends—before Sata-san started asking Yamaguchi polite questions. Yamaguchi was still blushing, and he looked a little shell-shocked, but he was being as nice as he usually was to people in general.

Yamaguchi, in Kei’s opinion, was too willingly offering up information to Sata-san, because who knew what she would do with it? He didn’t say anything though, because Yamaguchi could say whatever he wanted.

He could feel Yamaguchi glancing at him, but Kei didn’t look up as he ate his cake. Kei wished Yamaguchi would just pretend that he didn’t know about Kei picking up the trash, but Yamaguchi wasn’t the type of person to let these types of things go—the good things, the things Kei usually saw as embarrassing.

Kei frowned down at his cake. Yamaguchi was definitely going to make him talk about it once they were alone. Fuck. He wanted to go back to Yamaguchi’s house and get it over with as soon as possible.

He chanced a glance at Yamaguchi and he was giving Kei this small smile that made Kei’s stomach churn. He felt like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. He glared a little, but it only made Yamaguchi break out into a full blown smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! And thank you to everyone who left Kudos!
> 
> The last chapter should be up sometime this weekend.


	3. Chapter 3

When they got back to Yamaguchi’s house, his parents greeted them happily from the living room. Kei talked to them politely, as always. He liked Yamaguchi’s parents. They had accepted him warmly as Yamaguchi’s friend when they were young, and practically rejoiced when he and Yamaguchi started dating.

Yamaguchi’s mother had even baked them a congratulatory cake. Eating it in front of her had been embarrassing, but also funny because Yamaguchi had been blushing the whole time; and he’d kept going from shaking his head at Kei in disbelief to staring at his mother like he had never seen her before in his life.

While congratulatory cake had been embarrassing, it also made Kei relieved because he’d been worried Yamaguchi’s parents wouldn’t approve of their relationship—that they’d think Kei wasn’t good enough or nice enough. Kei hadn’t worried about his own family, who all loved Yamaguchi and had known that Kei was gay for years. And who wouldn’t approve of Yamaguchi dating their child? He need not have worried about Yamaguchi's parents, however, as they had never made Kei feel like they were anything but happy that Kei was their son’s boyfriend.

But as much as he liked them, he was immensely relieved when he and Yamaguchi were able to escape to Yamaguchi’s room. He felt like the shadow of the conversation they needed to have about picking up the trash had hung above them as they talked to Yamaguchi’s parents, and then felt like it followed them up the stairs and down the hallway to Yamaguchi’s room.

Kei knew he was being ridiculous, that there was no reason to dread talking about it like he was. He had to remind himself that he’d done something good. Yamaguchi would be happy about it. He thought about that—about it making Yamaguchi happy—and felt a little better.

Kei laid down on Yamaguchi’s bed and crossed his arms defensively. He met Yamaguchi’s eyes and silently dared him to tease Kei about the trash on the hill. Yamaguchi tilted his head, and the corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement as he studied Kei's expression and posture. Yamaguchi hesitated, then he joined Kei on the bed, just laying next to him.

Kei waited for Yamaguchi to say something, but he didn’t. As silence between them stretched on, Kei felt himself slowly getting less defensive. He could feel Yamaguchi watching him, and the other boy obviously knew that Kei was feeling uncomfortable about him finding out. Yamaguchi wouldn’t tease him, he realized. Not about this, at least not now.

Only when Kei uncrossed his arms and relaxed did Yamaguchi speak.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the trash, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked.

Kei huffed, because wasn’t it obvious? He didn’t want to explain himself, but he didn’t want Yamaguchi to feel like he was being ignored either.

“It’s embarrassing,” Kei said, grabbing a pillow and putting it over his face.

“But I like when you do stuff like this,” Yamaguchi said. He tugged at the pillow, but Kei held onto it tight. “It’s like... It makes me feel good.”

Kei was glad it made him feel good, but why did they have to _talk_ about it? Then something Yamaguchi had said confused him.

“Stuff like this?” Kei asked into the pillow. “When have I done stuff like this before?”

“I sing in the shower,” Yamaguchi said, which seemed oddly off topic before Yamaguchi continued, “And sometimes I can see your shadow when you come stand outside the door to listen.”

Kei frowned, and his face suddenly felt warm. He hadn’t realized that Yamaguchi could see that. He should have thought that through and also never have done it, because he leaned against the bathroom door and listened to Yamaguchi sing often. Way too often.

“And I know you prefer to bottom,” Yamaguchi said, “but you always let me decide which way we have sex.”

“Okay,” Kei said, gripping the pillow tighter. He had no idea how Yamaguchi knew that, but it was true. “Those things are also embarrassing. You can stop now. I get it.”

“No,” Yamaguchi said. He grabbed the pillow hard and pulled it away from Kei’s face in one smooth motion. Kei let him do it. “Tell me something embarrassing, Tsukki. Just get it all out of the way now.”

Kei took one look at Yamaguchi’s face, his pleading eyes, and he could tell that he would cave if he let this drag on. “I can’t think of anything,” he said quickly, hopefully conveying how much he wanted the subject dropped.

“It’s easy,” Yamaguchi said. “Like... I know you secretly like Hinata and Kageyama.”

“... _What?”_

“You talk to them on purpose, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, shaking his head. “You initiate conversation. Usually you’re just mean to someone once, to warn them off, and then you’re over it. But you never stopped talking to Hinata or Kageyama.”

Kei felt his heartbeat increasing and he was oddly aware of himself, of where his limbs were. He couldn’t believe Yamaguchi had known all these things and hadn’t said anything before.

“I _do not_ -” Kei started to say, but Yamaguchi cut him off.

“Your turn, Tsukki. Tell me something embarrassing about you that I don’t know,” he said, insistent.

“Why?” Kei asked. It came out as raspy and Kei cleared his throat.

“Because you know everything about me,” Yamaguchi said. “Everything.”

Kei supposed that was true. Yamaguchi always told Kei exactly what he was thinking and what he wanted. Even when he didn’t say anything, Kei could usually tell what Yamaguchi was feeling from his body language and expressions.

And now Yamaguchi was giving him this pleading look, the one he saved for when he really wanted to get his way. Fuck.

Kei clenched one of his hands into a fist and tried to steady himself.

Fine.

There was one thing.

He had never told Yamaguchi before because it would have been too awkward. There had never been a right time to just come out and say it.

“I...” Kei began, and Yamaguchi scooted closer to him and nodded encouragingly.

“I didn’t really have any good friends, before you,” Kei said, and he held up a hand to show Yamaguchi that he wasn’t finished as he paused. “You were different than... everyone. Better. I realized pretty quickly that you were the only friend I would ever need or want. And-”

Kei wanted to shut himself up, but he knew he couldn't stop and leave Yamaguchi with only half of what he'd decided to say.

So he continued, determinedly not looking in his boyfriend’s direction. “Towards the end of our first year of middle school, I realized that I was gay and that I liked you.” He heard a sharp intake of breath from Yamaguchi, but he made himself ignore it. “And when you told me that you liked me, I was relieved...”

Kei grimaced. This was becoming one of the most embarrassing things Kei had ever said in his life. He fought the impulse to grab the pillow and slam it onto his face.

“Relieved because I had already been in love with you for... a while,” Kei finished softly. Then he closed his eyes and held his breath, waiting for an explosion, but instead there was a long, drawn-out moment of stillness where neither of them moved. He could have sworn neither of them were breathing.

Then he heard a shaky intake of breath. He opened his eyes and looked at Yamaguchi.

“Don’t make it a big deal,” Kei said. “I don’t want to regret telling you.”

“But you just told me you liked me for three years before I liked you back!” Yamaguchi said, maybe too loudly, but Kei could see him making a visible effort to remain calm. Then he said, his voice softer this time, “I should be allowed to react.”

Kei couldn’t disagree with that, so he was quiet.

“You’ve liked me for four years then?” Yamaguchi asked after a while, wonder in his voice. That made Kei at least partly glad that he finally told him, because Yamaguchi constantly underestimated and undervalued everything about himself.

“Yes,” Kei said. _Maybe longer_ , Kei thought to himself. He had no idea how long he had a crush on Yamaguchi before he realized it was a crush.

“A long time,” Yamaguchi said.

Kei nodded and moved his gaze to Yamaguchi’s ceiling. It was plastered with star stickers. Kei focused on the glow-in-the-dark ones he once gave Yamaguchi for his birthday—the first gift he had ever given to a friend. Yamaguchi had dragged him into his house the next day and excitedly showed Kei the stars on his ceiling, carefully arranged to outline the different phases of the moon.

“That way,” Yamaguchi had said, suddenly quiet and looking shyly away, “I’ll never forget they’re from you.”

Kei had watched Yamaguchi fiddle with his fingers, glance quickly at Kei and away again, and felt surprised that his gift had been so well received, but pleased too. He was glad he had chosen well.

It had been his first time in Yamaguchi’s house, his first time in a friend’s room, and he felt a warmth he had only felt before in his own home, he felt comfortable in Yamaguchi’s room in a way he hadn’t expected.

And ever since then, Kei had always liked looking at the those stars. They soothed him.

Yamaguchi was also looking up at the ceiling, and Kei wondered if he was looking at the stars too.

“I wish you didn’t have to wait so long for me to like you back,” Yamaguchi said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Kei said. “It’s not like it was awful. I wasn’t secretly crying myself to sleep or anything.”

There was a comfortable silence before Kei added, “Though I suppose I was secretly masturbating.”

“ _Tsukki_ ,” Yamaguchi whined, bringing his hands up to cover his face. He seemed more embarrassed than Kei now, which was a good development.

Kei chuckled a little to himself, turning to look at Yamaguchi more fully. He was peeking at Kei between his fingers.

“I... Me too,” Yamaguchi said quietly.

Kei frowned, not understanding.

“I did _that_ too,” Yamaguchi said, squirming a little. “Be-before... Before I confessed, I...”

Kei hummed understanding and said, “I got it. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Yamaguchi breathed a sigh of relief, but he was blushing more than Kei could ever remember. The flush of blood under Yamaguchi’s skin had traveled all the way down his neck and under his shirt. And he still hadn’t moved his hands down from his face.

“You can talk about sex without blinking an eye,” Kei said, studying what he could see of Yamaguchi’s face. “But talking about masturbation makes you this uncomfortable?”

“Because sex makes you uncomfortable, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said. “And we can’t both be uncomfortable, or we’d never talk about it. So I just make myself pretend I’m not screaming on the inside.”

Yamaguchi still hadn’t revealed his face, and Kei was starting to enjoy this. It was fun to see Yamaguchi so off balance.

“Sometimes,” Kei said, pausing for a second to make sure he had Yamaguchi’s attention, “When I want you and you don’t notice, I wait for you to go home and then I get in the shower and-”

“No,” Yamaguchi said quickly, a hand covering Kei’s mouth. “No more.”

But as soon as Yamaguchi’s hand left his mouth, Kei continued, “Once I made sure to bring lube with me and-”

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi said in a warning tone, putting both hands over Kei’s mouth. He was even redder than before and his breathing had picked up, which made Kei grin. He had found some ammunition that he didn’t even know he had.

“No more,” Yamaguchi said firmly. He waited for Kei to nod before he took his hands off of Kei’s mouth. Then Yamaguchi ran his hands through his hair and blinked at the ceiling. He was endearingly flustered.

“I like you like this,” Kei said.

Yamaguchi turned to look at him and his hair was now a complete mess.

“Like what?”

“All bothered,” Kei said, raising a hand to trace the line of Yamaguchi’s face. “Like if I kissed you right now, you’d tremble.”

Yamaguchi’s hand came up to grip his wrist, and he _was_ trembling and his eyes looked a little wet.

“Sorry,” Kei said, remembering he’d agreed not to say any more. “Are you okay?”

“I- Yeah,” Yamaguchi said. “It’s just, you’ve never... You’re overwhelming me.”

“Sorry,” Kei said again as Yamaguchi hugged himself to him. “I’ll stop.”

“Don’t apologize,” Yamaguchi said into Kei’s chest. His voice was slightly muffled, but Kei could hear him fine. “It’s just that I didn’t even realize you knew how much I hated that hill, and then I find out that you’ve been picking up all the trash for months, just for me, and now you’re... you’re saying these things.”

Yamaguchi took a deep, shuddering breath that left Kei a little worried. “I know I told you to say them, but I didn’t realize...” Yamaguchi said. “And now I feel weird, like I might cry, and I don’t know why.”

“That's fine,” Kei said, putting a hand in Yamaguchi’s hair. “You’re allowed to have emotions, Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi nodded against his chest. Kei’s fingers found the cowlick on top of Yamaguchi’s head that always stood up no matter what Yamaguchi did to it, and he rubbed the strand of hair softly between his fingers. He was fond of it. Yamaguchi had laughed at Kei for playing with it on more than one occasion.

Kei leaned his head forward a little so that when he breathed in, it smelt like Yamaguchi’s shampoo.

“Just don’t expect me to join you if you cry,” Kei said, which made Yamaguchi laugh.

“I love you, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, his arms tightening around Kei. “So much. Thank you for... Just thank you.”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi,” Kei said. Then he added, “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to everyone who left comments and Kudos! I'm glad this fic is making people smile. I was smiling pretty much the whole time I wrote it. 
> 
> This is the first fic in a Tsukkiyama series I have planned out. So if you liked this one, keep an eye out for the next one!


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